what do i want in life, really?

if i have to substantiate it into many things, i would. first off, this is about what I want. emphasis on the 'I'. if i list it, probably it would become like this:

1. finish my bachelor's degree.

2. get a master's degree on either neuropsychology or social psychology.

3. get a job.

4. get married.

5. have children.

6. get a doctoral degree on God-knows-what.

7. i haven't really thought about what is next to come...

on the other hand, THIS is what my father expects me to do:

1. finish my bachelor's degree.

2. get a master's degree on economics.

3. work at one of dad's peers' company.

4. get married (possible choices to some boring-coma-not interesting-coma-stupid-coma-weirdo-and-not hot [although the 'not hot' part is unnecessary] geek whom my dad loves... *knock on wood to stop it from happening please God hear my prayer*)

5. have children.

6. get a doctoral degree on God-knows-what.

7. i haven't really thought about what is next to come unless my dad has already planned it for me...

my soul is crying. i was really excited that i had my life planned out already, but whenever i mentioned it to my dad, he would say NO. on the other hand, if i listen to my mum, i know she would say, 'it's up to you, dear' but i know she would have the same vision as my dad. oh and did i mention that my dad is super overprotective of me? in my case, i would rather not go to a club than have him asking me who i am going with, where i am going, are there any chaperones... back up, CHAPERONES. yes, i said chaperones... IN A CLUB. wtf, i think my dad is mental. okay, i sound like a whining child. moving on.

however, i find that the arrival of my great uncle, Gene, has (hopefully) opened his eyes. i hope he listens to him or dear God i would have to chop my head off if he doesn't. that's not in a literal sense, of course. anyway, if i go on and on and on about my dad, it would create a novel, so i am just going to stop there.

SO... if you sum it all, as i have mentioned it above, i do know what i want in life. but as i said, probably i will go with all of my dad's plan, to the exception of number 4. SO, this is my solution:

1. finish my bachelor's degree.

2. get a master's degree in (if possible) economics.

3. get a job (possibly in one of my Dad's peers' company).

4. get married (to my possible God-given future candidate whom i know will be to my upmost expectation).

5. get a whole lot of money and save enough for my family and myself.

6. repeat number 2, but in neuropsychology or social psychology (heheheheh...).

7. get another job to my liking, and if that's not possible, then i'll stay at the company (*sigh*)

so where does having children fit, then? hmm... probably between number 4 and 5. of course, my children will be my priority. i would have to safe enough for them, then go for what i want.

dear God, i may not be a religious person, but please help me fulfill my dreams. thanks. Amen.